


You Make Me Nervous

by Matildareallylovedthis



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkwardness, Christmas, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Roommates, Secret Crush, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matildareallylovedthis/pseuds/Matildareallylovedthis
Summary: It's a normal cold day in New York, december.Alexander wakes up as normal, drinks his coffee as always but when his roommate comes out into the kitchen the day is not so normal anymore.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	You Make Me Nervous

**Author's Note:**

> So this is not that good, I wrote it a while ago and have had the idea in my head for a long time and have edited it enough now that I feel it's good enough to post.
> 
> So here, marry Christmas, this exists now. 
> 
> Don't know if I will continue it, probably not but we'll see.
> 
> Anyhow enjoy!

Alex woke up by the sun's bright lines picking at his face. Even though it was freezing outside the sun was streaming across the sky and his bed. 

Which was far too bright for Alex's liking. 

He squeezed his eyes tightly and rolled over just in time to hear his alarm go off beside him.  
Red bright lines read 08.15, Alex quickly turned the buzzer off, stretched, and took off the warm blanket he was embedded in. 

He threw his legs to the side of his bed and his feet hit the carpet that lied in line with the beds' legs.  
He put his glasses on from his bedside table and stretched his arms once more until he got up to put on some clothes.  
He decided on a pair of black sweatpants and a simple grey T-shirt and walked out into the small kitchen of the apartment.

As he walked past John's, his flatmate and best friend, bedroom door he could hear him talking to someone but Alex were currently too tired to think anything more of it.

He started the coffee percolator and grabbed a black mug from one of the cabinets. The mug had been a present from his friend Hercules and it was one of Alex's favorites because when he drank from it, it showed a fuck you finger at the bottom of the mug.  
'What a great way to start the day, ey?' He thought, grinning slightly to himself.

He poured the coffee into the mug and it started to fill the whole apartment with its sense.  
Alex sat down at the kitchen table looking out the frozen window.  
He took a few sips of his steaming coffee and as he was taking his third John slipt into the kitchen.

He was dressed in a light blue button-down shirt, black jeans, and a black-tie loosely hanging around his neck. His hair was in a tight ponytail and he had an exhausted look on his face.

He walked straight towards the coffee kettle, which surprised Alex because John always would stop to say 'Good morning' or at least give a nod at somebody's presence. 

He got out a mug to fill it up with coffee and sat down on the chair across from Alex. 

Alex watched his every move carefully. John took a long sip and when he was done he slammed the mug down on to the table and put his head in his hands.

"Morning" Alex said slowly trying to find eye contact without success.

"Ugh, good morning" John groaned through his hands.

"So... are we gonna talk about you being oddly well dressed at like 8 in the morning or what? Is something happening that I forgot about?" He asked and was ready to pull out his calendar.

John sighed heavily as he lowered his hands to the table. He looked up at Alex with an irritated expression.

"I'm dressed this way so that my father wouldn't be able to complain about my looks. He already hates my hair and I'm not up for another talk about," he paused taking a breath.  
"You know, saying that I'm not putting any effort into seeing him."

John shook his head laughing.  
"Even though he is on a computer screen and not actually here in person." He took another long sip from his mug.

Alex had turned his confused expression into a more irritated one.  
"Oh," he said gripping harder around his mug.  
"What did he want to talk to you about?" He asked not really paying much attention, granting that he already knew the answer. 

"Eh, mostly work and school. Letting me know that everyone is doing well at home and reminding me about Christmas." John shrugged.

At that Alex's eyes struck up.  
"Christmas?" he asked.

"Yeah, so uh, I'm going home over Christmas and it's only for a week. But..." He said looking down, focusing on his coffee.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alex said reaching out his free hand towards John.  
"Last year you didn't even visit and the year before that you were just there for three days."  
He gestured with his hand and held up three fingers as he talked.

John nodded still looking down at his coffee mug. The hot steam hitting his face.

"So why are you going this year? Is your sister Marth coming as well? Does your dad want you to help him with work? Because let's be honest here John, last year you were very relieved you weren't forced to go." 

John looked up at him with a tired expression.  
There was much more Alex wanted to say but he decided it would be best to bite his tongue instead.

John sighed heavily.  
"Yes, all those statements are true but this year I'm going. Martha is coming with her boyfriend as well. I haven't met him in person yet and it wouldn't be the worst to catch up with everybody in person."

They both took a drink from their mugs. Alex nodded slowly understanding John's argument but still feeling a huge distaste towards the idea of John together with his father. 

'Henry Laurence loving father of five and a congressman of the south. A determined believer and a man true to his words'.  
Is what people would have you believe.  
But from what John had told Alex and from the two times Alex had meet said congressman, it would sound more like this:

Henry Laurence cruel father of five and a congressman of the south. A man who is too stubborn to see others' points and views, so stubborn and close-minded that he forces his opinions on to others, even his children. A man that always wears a shell that can burst at any moment.  
Now that is what Henry Laurens is.

They both sat still in silence. Alex looking out the window and John reading something on his phone.  
Another moment of silence went by until John spoke up.

"He asked about you."

Alex, startled by the silence being cut through like a knife slicing an appel, lost his train of thought and looked wide-eyed back at John.  
His head low and still looking down at his phone. Now closed and resting in his hand.

"He- Henry- Your-" 

Alex was struggling to find the words. He straightened his back and cleared his voice.

"Your father asked about me?" He asked without any stutter.

"Yeah," John answered, now looking out the window. Avoiding eye contact to his best ability.

"Okay, what did he ask?"

John shrugged clearly regretting bringing it up.  
"I know you don't like him and I'm not blaming you one bit." He laughed shortly.

Alex nodded, clearly still wanting an answer but not wanting to seem desperate for it.

"Well, he asked how you were doing and what you thought about working again with Washington.  
I said that you were fine, that you like your new workspace, and working with Washington is going well from what I can tell."

"Alright seems like normal questions to me. But why would he ask? Any time I have met him he isn't exactly interested in me." Alex snorted to himself.  
"Even though I have been your best friend in soon 5 years.

"Well," John paused.  
"He remembered that last year I stayed in the city with you because I told him you didn't have anyone to spend the holidays with."

Alex farrowed his brows.  
"What? You didn't tell me you told him that and that THAT was the reason you got to stay." He said trying to hide how upset he was in his voice, not really succeeding. 

"I know I know." 

John was now looking at Alex with pleading eyes.

"But look. Can you really blame me for not telling you? You hate pity Alex and if anything it worked to our benefit, I got to stay here in the city and you weren't alone for a whole week." John said trying to give a small smile.

Alex just sighed and nodded, gesturing at John to keep going while taking another drink from his coffee.

"Right. So my father has invited you to join me, home, for Christmas."  
John said keeping distance between the last three words and looking down at the table once again.

Alexander just stared at him speechless. His mind struggling to comprehend the words that had gone out of John's mouth.

John was expecting Alex to burst out laughing or telling him what a stupid idea that was, was more or less shocked by the silence that came over them.  
He looked up at him, confused, to meet Alexander's blank stare and half-open mouth. John tried hard not to laugh at how funny his friend looked.

John stretched out his left hand in front of Alex's eyes and waved with it from side to side, but Alex's gaze stayed put.  
John drew back his hand and pouted, "Come on, my family isn't that bad." he said resting his chin on the back of his hand.

That made Alex come back and he shook his head angrily.  
"No, no, no that's not what I meant. It's just..."  
He made a helpless gesture with his free hand at a loss of what to say.

'What did he mean?' he thought to himself.  
'That I'm totally crushing on you and you inviting me home to meet your family is a bigger thing for me than what you realize? Yeah!'

Alex sighed and looked back at John.  
"Look, it's not that I think your family is horrible. You've told me plenty of great stories about your siblings for me to not think so. It's congressman H-dot-L I'm not looking forward too."

John let his head tilt at the side looking down at the carpet they had in the kitchen.  
His eyes showed disappointment.

Alex seeing this started to worry, he didn't want to disappoint John, he needed to say something, anything!  
He pressed his eyes tightly before opening them again and opening his mouth, waiting for the right words to come out.

But before Alex could say anything John spoke before him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It wouldn't be very fun for you to spend a week with my family.  
I'm sorry I asked. I'll let my father know that you have other plans."  
John started to get up from his chair when suddenly Alex's hand was wrapped around his wrist.

Startled, John looked at Alex finding Alex's eyes looking at him seriously and a tad bit anxious.  
Alexander's grip was hard around his wrist, warm and a little sweaty as well.  
John stared at Alex first with confusion, he looked into his eyes and something in those eyes made his stomach flutter.  
He quickly shook the feeling off by drawing his wrist closer to his chest which made Alex loosen his grip, John's hand now being too far away from him.

Alex cleared his throat feeling his face getting a little warm.

"What I meant to say was... that... if you want me there then I'm not gonna say no, also your dad clearly wants me there and how could I let him down so easily?" Alex said trying for a half-joke.

It made John give a small laugh, more to let Alex know that he acknowledged the joke.

"Anyway," Alex said clearing his throat once again.  
"Yes, I would like to go. You can let your father know that he'll be seeing me..." Alex paused with his mouth open not knowing what day they were going down to Charleston.

"The 20th." John chuckled.

"Ah yes! The 20th!" He said giving John a smile.

"Alright, I'll let him know that his date will be there arriving at 8 pm Thursday."  
Alex gave a small chuckle at the joke until John left him alone in the kitchen.

Alex felt like he had just signed a paper with the devil, he took a sip of his, now not so warm, coffee looking out the frosted window.


End file.
